


So Long Denied

by Queen of Hearts (ElvenSorceress)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Comfort/Angst, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Light Angst, Love, M/M, Male Slash, Older Man/Younger Man, Sexual Content, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-18
Updated: 2013-05-18
Packaged: 2017-12-12 06:31:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/808383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElvenSorceress/pseuds/Queen%20of%20Hearts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hook must not understand. Maybe he doesn't feel the aching, flooding heat winding through every part of his body. Maybe it doesn't twist through his insides and his thoughts, and maybe it isn't deep inside him, pulsing with his blood, overtaking every thought and breath and wish. Maybe Hook doesn't need him. But Bae needs Hook.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Long Denied

**Author's Note:**

> \- I wasn't going to do the thing but then the show went and did stuff and I couldn't not ship this and I JUST COULDN'T NOT. Anyway. Have some porn. 
> 
> \- title is from Suddenly (the song added to Les Mis for the movie)
> 
> Nevermore alone  
> Nevermore apart  
> You have warmed my heart like the sun  
> You have brought the gift of life  
> And love so long denied me
> 
> \- special thanks to BeautyofNight for helping figure out an ending! And being my cheerleader while I was writing! <3<3

~~*~~*~~*~~

It hurts the first several times no matter how gentle Hook is, and he is very gentle. He seems content to take his time and go slow and make it last for ages. And Bae is sick of it. 

Hook must not understand. Maybe he doesn't feel the aching, flooding heat winding through every part of his body. Maybe it doesn't twist through his insides and his thoughts, and maybe it isn't deep inside him, pulsing with his blood, overtaking every thought and breath and wish. Maybe Hook doesn't need him. But Bae needs Hook. 

Being stretched and filled and having rough stubble scratching his lips and face and neck and a hand gripping him and holding him tight and having teeth graze his skin, it's not really pain. The ache of being separate is far worse. 

Bae's never been afraid of pain anyway. He can withstand all the physical pain in the world. It's nothing compared to having no one. It's nothing compared to knowing that he wasn't worth choosing not even by the people who were supposed to love him no matter what. 

How long until Hook stops choosing him? How long until Bae is alone and abandoned again? 

He shoves Hook on the bed and tears at his clothes until he wins warm, bare skin. He has to have the closeness. He has to feel the warmth and connection, and not feel so alone. He has to make Hook need this, too. 

Bae throws his own clothes aside, not stopping until they are both naked, and he leans down over Hook, gripping him by the shoulders and kissing him hungrily. Just the way Hook taught him, the way Hook loves most. 

Hook chuckles and runs his hand through Bae's hair, whispering gleeful, teasing words. "Aren't we enthusiastic?"

Bae presses Hook's lower lip between his teeth. The dark hair on Hook's chest is coarse and long and when Bae tugs on it, Hook whimpers into his mouth. "Shouldn't you be, too?"

Hook grips Bae's hip and pulls him forward, arching up and pressing them together. "Believe me, m'boy. I want nothing more."

Bae tries to breathe but only ends up panting. He wants too much. He needs too much. He digs his fingers into Hook's arms. "Fuck me."

Hook's eyebrow arches and he smirks. "And where did you learn that word?"

Bae tilts his hips and grinds against Hook's hard, insistent flesh. "I live on a pirate ship."

Hook smiles wider and clenches his fist in Bae's thick hair. "Aye, that you do." He captures Bae's mouth and holds him there, sliding his tongue over Bae's lips and into his mouth until Bae moans. 

Everything is need and starvation and deprivation; everything burns inside him and this ache is far too horrible. Not having Hook, not being completely joined and pressed together and inseparable is far too painful. Bae scrapes his teeth over Hook's throat as he reaches between them and strokes him.

Hook lets out something between a moan and a gasp and the silver arch replacing his hand pierces the mattress and tears the sheets. "Bae," he says in a strangled plea that sounds raw and deep and desperate.

Giddy possessiveness floods through Bae. That's what he wants. _Need me. Need me just as much._ Bae kisses him and lets it be torturously long and slow before he repeats, "Fuck me."

Hook's hand slides from Bae's hair and he holds it out so Bae can remove his rings. Bae tosses them into the open drawer of the table attached to Hook's bed, and goes dizzy when Hook's fingers lightly brush over his lips. He could tease if he weren't feeling so impatient. As it is, when he sucks two fingers into his mouth, he's rewarded with a shiver that appears to rock Hook's whole body. 

Bae grins and licks Hook's fingers, swirling his tongue around them until they're slick and covered in his saliva. Hook watches him with dark eyes that no longer look blue. 

What does he think when they do this? Why does he keep Bae around? Is it just for this? Bae isn't sure that makes sense. Hook could have anyone. Maybe he does have everyone. It doesn't really matter as long as Bae gets to have him. Maybe it's just because of his mother. Maybe he feels guilty. That's probably it. How long before he stops feeling guilty? What if Bae loses him?

He lets Hook's fingers slide from his mouth, and he crawls forward until he's straddling Hook's stomach. Hook pulls him down for a kiss as his hand moves under and one finger presses inside.

It was strange the first time. Or maybe just unexpected, but Hook knows exactly how and where to touch him. Bae can't imagine anything else feeling this good now. He closes his eyes and slowly rocks against Hook's hand. It's so close. It's so almost and so nearly what he needs, but not quite. He needs more Hook. 

He nuzzles his face against the rough hair covering Hook's cheek and jaw and breathes in the smell of leather and sweat and seawater. It's comforting somehow even though he can't say exactly why. 

Hook turns his head toward Bae and nudges his nose against Bae's ear. "You feel good?"

Not yet. Not good enough. He nods though. "I'm ready. Please. Now."

The warm, thick fingers leave him and his breath catches when he sighs. 

Hook feels around and pulls a vial from the side table drawer. Bae takes it from him before he has to try managing it with just the one hand and pours the cool liquid into Hook's palm. 

Hook slicks himself with the liquid and smirks at Bae as he closes the bottle and stuffs it back in the drawer. He wipes his hand off on the torn sheets and rests it on Bae's thigh. "I'm all yours."

The words make something warm and tremulous twist in Bae's stomach. He slides back and reaches between them, testing it a little. But really. It doesn't hurt that much. Nothing unbearable. Nothing like real pain. He sinks down swiftly and takes Hook deep inside him. 

Hook tenses, arches, and gasps beneath him. "Bae," he says, breathless with something that sounds like longing. 

Bae grips him, pulling Hook up into a sitting position and holding on tightly enough to bruise them both. He's done this before, he's mostly figured it out, and he's finally not empty and hollow and incomplete. Bae shoves himself up and down and keeps Hook locked in his arms. It's so good and better than everything else and he's not alone. This is his. He won't let go. He won't lose this. He'll fight and die before he loses this. 

Hook clutches him and breathes heavily against Bae's neck. Words fall in low, pleading moans. Some of them incoherent, some mostly curses, most of them _Baelfire._ He scatters kisses along Bae's neck and over his collarbones. Cool, thick metal presses into his back and turns warmer against his skin. The sharp point is turned away, Bae can tell. He knows it would never hurt him. Hook protects him at any cost. 

Bae tangles his fingers in Hook's soft hair. He clenches and grips fistfuls of it, pulling Hook's mouth up to his. The prickly stubble leaves scratches and tingling all over Bae's lips, and he has to get closer, he has feel him deeper and never feel anything else. He has to never be alone ever again.

It builds and tightens in his stomach, and he drives himself harder and faster. It's over the second Hook reaches between them and touches him. His whole body jerks and spasms as he spills all over Hook's stomach and hand. Everything is bright warmth and sparks and he holds onto Hook with a death grip. It can't end yet. It's always over too soon no matter how slow and patient it is. He locks his arms around Hook's shoulders and buries his face in Hook's neck. He quakes with all the waves and jolts of heat and whispers into Hook's ear, "Let me feel you. I want to feel you."

Hook bucks up against him a few times, but it doesn't take long for him either, and Bae swears he feels the bright tremors that flow through Hook. His voice is ragged and he holds Bae to him so they are completely pressed together. After a few seconds, Bae is pulled even closer and rolled under Hook. 

Bae's hair is a little damp and the warm metal brushes it off his forehead. Hook kisses him softly, lightly over his cheek and nose and mouth, and Bae swallows hard and wants to keep Hook held tightly in his arms but it's over now and there isn't an excuse and he can't. He rests his hand lightly on Hook's chest and can feel his heart still beating hard. He just wants… he just doesn't want to be alone and abandoned any more. 

"What's wrong, love? Did this hurt?"

Bae shakes his head but that word hurts. It wrenches everything and leaves him broken open and with nothing. 

Hook pulls him close and kisses his cheek. "Tell me? Please?"

Bae sighs because Hook is hopefully not letting him go any time soon, and maybe he can imagine that there is love in the way he is being held. "Why did you… say that? I mean call me that. Why?" he asks softly.

Hook is quiet for a moment, like he's studying Bae. "Why did I call you love?"

It was a stupid question. It's a stupid pet name or meaningless endearment or whatever, and Bae knows that. He knows that. It's just. That word. It's all he wants. It's all he's ever wanted from anyone. 

"Bae, I love you," he says and his voice sounds thick and sorrowful and like it's full of aching, too. Hook watches him pleadingly with bright blue eyes that are so hard to look away from. "In every way imaginable," he says and smiles though it seems sad. 

Bae swallows hard and has nothing to say. His parents loved him, too. At least, they did at one point. He imagines Wendy, John, and Michael loved him as well, but he lost them, too. The problem isn't really having love maybe but keeping it. Maybe it's not meant to be permanent. 

Hook's gaze falls but his hand strokes lightly over Bae's shoulder. "Do you... want me to not love you?"

Bae shakes his head. "I want too much. I want you to always love me. I want someone who loves me and won't leave." His voice breaks on the last few words. Why does it have to hurt so much? Why does he have to feel so much?

Hook kisses his forehead. "I couldn't promise this to anyone else, but I can for you. I will always love you. I'll be here as long as you want me to."

Bae closes his eyes and almost feels it. It's warm and safe and Hook is so solid and real and in him everywhere. He pulls Hook down so he can feel his weight, and rubs both hands over his back. 

Hook presses his face into Bae's hair and whispers to him, "How could I ever let you go? You are one of the only good things to happen in my entire life. You are selfless and noble and a bloody hero, and you still seem to love me."

Bae's eyes sting and he hugs Hook tighter. 

"I'm not going anywhere unless you make me."

Bae laughs even though it comes out as a half sob. "I do love you. I don't want you to go anywhere."

"Alright then, love. You're stuck with me."

Bae pulls Hook's face to his and kisses him fiercely. This time, he believes it.


End file.
